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How to Avoid the Crash
What is the best way to slow down when things are busy? How can I take the time to process what is happening that is hard or unusual?
Is it possible to slow down when life keeps going? Yes. I think we can.
Will it be difficult? Yes. It will be strange to some people and you will be rudely misunderstood by others. But, I think it is worth it.
The peace in our homes, and the emotional and spiritual health we have matter.
When the crash happens, or even before it gets to that point, I use these tools to slow me down. I return to these rebuilding steps when things become overwhelming.
I juggle a lot of things. I am an overachiever and I have many roles. Throughout the week (during the school year) I am teaching, doing farm chores, cleaning, writing, grading papers, laundry, household tasks, parenting, planning, cooking, organizing all the spaces... I do the work of three jobs. My husband also has multiple roles he shoulders. We share a long list of responsibilities and we do them well. (Proficient first-borns through and through.. 😉)
Even though I am efficient and use my routines to get me through a massive amount of work, sometimes it catches up with me. All the task switching, the weight of expectations, and the busy schedule feel too heavy. So I crash.
My Story -
For me, the crash looks like feeling sick on the couch. An upset stomach and a migraine. Or it could be not wanting to go anywhere or do anything social. I have no desire to chat with other people or join conversation in a group. It is taking a long nap or mindlessly watching nature documentaries on Netflix. I cannot motivate myself to care about any of the tasks I need to do or usually want to do.
I literally cannot do anything else. I am physically and emotionally worn out. But it is not the satisfying worn-out like after a good day or a long walk. It is an overwhelm that presses me down.
Usually the crash hits me only sporadically when I am taking time for Sabbath, rest, and not dealing with health issues.
At other times in my life, I have crashed every Friday afternoon.The crash can also be called over-functioning.
“It is the temptation to do more than what God has called you to do. When you over-function you don’t have time to eat, to take care of your body, or to connect.” - Emily P. Freeman defined this very well in episode #183 of The Next Right Thing Podcast
Taking care of yourself must be specific to who you are and your lifestyle. We all have different needs and daily obstacles.
Rebuilding Step #1 – Self-Care
This is not about being selfish and getting everything we want, but about filling up our buckets so we can pour out for others. Each person is unique and has different needs at different seasons.
To get started with self-care you need some fresh self-awareness. I highly recommend getting to know who you are right now, in this stage of life.
Where would you rather go for a free afternoon? Into a downtown area for street food and people watching or to a quiet nature trail?
Are you a morning person or do you enjoy the evenings? What is your natural rhythm?
How do you react to inner and outer expectations? Are you a Rebel, Obligor, Upholder, or a Questioner?
Rebuilding Step #2 – Reflection
With reflection, I am able to see what I have been through.
Morning Pages - The journaling practice of writing out my thoughts and ideas right away every morning.
I can clear the crud. Get the annoyances out on paper and process what is bothering me. This process of writing long hand slows me down, reminds me of what I am thinking about, and helps me with reflection.
I see patterns. I notice specific relationships or events that drain me. I am able to see where I am getting stuck and apply solutions to move forward. I would argue that if you are in a busy season Morning Pages are crucial.
We are not made for going full speed all the time. We are not created to be machines of production and speed.
Choosing to spend time in reflection on a regular basis is like taking your foot off the gas pedal for a while. It is allowing the events of the day to decelerate and slow down.
Rebuilding Step #3 – Sabbath
The heart of Sabbath is REST and RESTORATION. Really at the root of all of this is trusting the One who made us and the One who holds all things together.
God has called us to this form of resistance to our culture and the way we have been wired. It does not come from an excuse of laziness, but from trust in Him.
Sabbath is taking a break from consuming, working, and demanding schedules.
Daily Rhythms of Rest –
Find spaces of time every day to be quiet on the inside. Just to be without agenda or set tasks. For me this looks like:
This is standing in my dark kitchen holding my morning cup of tea.
It is getting out my knitting for a few moments of frivolous focus and busy fingers.
Taking a break to pet the cat or play ball with the dog.
Leaning on small yard gate watching the sky change from orange to purple in a beautiful Arizona sunset.
I am reminded that God is good, He makes all things new, He is full of grace, He loves me as I am, God loves my children more than I can imagine, and He is with me no matter what my day holds.
When I crash it is a learning opportunity to make a change. For many years I wasted my time repeating unhealthy cycles. I do not want to do that anymore. I need to learn to slow down before my body screams at me to rest.
I hope my vulnerability in sharing my story helps you.
Know that you are not alone.
🍵Hugs! – April
Photos by Annie Spratt and others on Unsplash
