Personality, Self-Awareness & “Reading People”

Understanding myself and others can be layered. Anne Bogel's book rekindled my excitement over personality types.

When I know my natural tendencies and strengths, I can show up in the world as a better version of myself. I have no desire to put myself into a mold that fits someone else.

And I want to extend this same understanding and compassion to my kids, Jim, my friends, and my family. It is easier to assume the best when I can see the personality traits of others causing friction. I am able to give more grace to others with these frameworks.

“Because I understand myself better, I can navigate the world a little better.”

–Reading People by Anne Bogel

Anne Bogel is someone that I click with and enjoy gathering wisdom from. The way she wrote this book on personality is approachable and practical. Even though I have had experiences with most of the personality frameworks listed in this book I found that it was helpful to read. The overviews reminded me of things I had forgotten to apply and I saw areas that need more of my attention.

It was a fresh perspective.

If you are interested in personality ideas and discussing how you are wired this book is a great place to start. Anne is gentle with her introductions to these very deep topics. She also offers new insight for those of you who have an understanding of these assessments.

Reading People: How Seeing the World through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything by Anne Bogel

For those of you who want to do a deep dive on the topic here are some resources I collected.

Here are some resources I enjoyed related to her book:

• the Free Discussion Guide on the book for a book club or the reader who enjoys having journal prompts (https://modernmrsdarcy.com/reading-people/)

• a podcast with 2 of my favorites. I loved it! (SJP #038: Anne Bogel: How Understanding Personality Changes Everything)

• podcast: Beyond the To-Do List (Anne Bogel on the Benefits and Differences of Personality Assessments)

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I have always been intrigued by studying personality types and how they frame our lives. Over the years I have read shelves of books about personality types.

➡️Check out my TikTok posts about my reading!

My Favorite Books on Personality:

• The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin – This is a great resource if you want to make progress on goals and habits but things are not sticking.

  • Here is her free quiz to find which one you are: The 4 Tendencies Quiz

• Strengths-Finder by Tom Rath – I encountered Strengths-Finder in my early 20’s and found it to be so helpful. I was encouraged by the radically different approach of making the most of what I do well.

  • Here is a link to get you started: The 34 Clifton Strengths Themes Explain Your Talent DNA

• Becoming Us by Beth & Jeff McCord – This is a great place to start learning about the Enneagram. I found the second half of the book to be a great textbook for understanding my type and moving forward in personal growth. I still reference these pages often.

  • They have great online materials here: https://www.becomingus.com/

• The Highly Sensitive Parent: Be Brilliant in Your Role, Even When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. – It was full of permission slip style advice that allowed me to settle into who I am and how I have been created without shame. For a long time I have been “white knuckling” and pushing myself through. Now I have strategies and ways to make situations that are overwhelming more successful. 

  • Free quiz from Dr. Aron: https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

• Introverted Mom by Jamie Martin – I find Jamie’s words comforting, practical, and understanding. I wish I had this book when I was a young mom.  The subtitle is: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy. 💟 So awesome!

  • Here is a link to her online community and a fun quiz: https://jamiecmartin.com/introvert/

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Questions for you:

- What fascinates you about personality frameworks?

- Do you believe that people can change who they are and how they see the world?

- What experiences have you had with personality tests that left you frustrated? What have you enjoyed?

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May this fun little rabbit trial into personality take you some fun places. I have learned so much about the way that I work and how to relate to others using these books and resources.

I hope that this is helpful to you in your journey.

🍵📖Wishing you a cozy afternoon with tea and a good book – April

(I couldn’t resist a fully Enneagram 9 closing. 😉)

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Photos by Elina Sitnikova and others on Unsplash